Recognizing red flags in dating

After the breakup, friends started reaching out to me.

Turns out my ex was conniving, lied throughout our relationship, made herself to be the victim.

The friendships we lost happened primarily when her lies started catching up or was discovered, then those friends suddenly became the bad people.

There were all the other signs too, insecurity, jealousy, selfies all the time, bragging about how this person and that person likes her, always complaining about someone, gossiping... Those were reasons why I broke up, but had no idea how destructive of a person she was.

Whatever they do to themselves is their own choice and they should make it knowing the results will not change your thoughts on them, and if they're being serious perhaps they should see professional help rather than latching onto you.

It's still going to suck, and there's no promise they'll take it well, but it beats letting someone sink their claws into you and start worrying away because you tried to be nice to them.

Also don't let anyone else tell you it's your fault the person is making these threats or you're a bad person for not caring for them.

Don't be an ass about it, don't freak out, just maintain the clear separation of your actions and theirs.

And just to make the explicit note, these threats are entirely their doing, don't let them push it on you.

That leads to worse problems for both of you in time. Not to that extreme, but always has something negative to say or critical of others.

We started to lose some friendships, but was always friend's fault.

- Then they aren't interested in you, just their own self-validation.

My ex did this, and I wish I'd have heeded the redness of that flag cause he turned out to be a total narcissist.

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